Worrying About Birth Family

Our thanks for this blog post go to Scottish Adoption’s Teen Ambassadors (temporarily known as the ‘Quaran’-Teen Ambassadors!). The Teen Ambassadors help Scottish Adoption, a voluntary adoption agency based in Edinburgh, create new families by giving input at every Scottish Adoption preparation group. They also use their experiences and represent the views of other young people from our teen group to help train and educate other professionals.

@teentalkadoption is an Instagram based online teen adoptee community  created by the Scottish Adoption Teen Ambassadors. @teentalkadoption is:

• A platform for adopted teenagers to tell their stories.
• A place for adopted teenagers to connect with other relevant services.
• A space to educate others, change practice and reduce stereotypes on adoption.
• An online support service where adopted teenagers can submit a worry or question and receive a confidential response from a Teen Ambassador.

Follow @teentalkadoption if you are a adopted teenager who wants to join the community.

Follow @teentalkadoption if you’re a adoptive parent or professional who wants to learn about the views and experiences of adopted children.

Direct Message Scottish Adoption or use the contact form on their website to submit your problem, questions, story/blog or thoughts.

Scottish Adoption understand that some adopted young people would like to keep their adoption identity confidential. If this is the case, you or your parent can read our blogs here, or just take a peek at the Teen Talk Instagram page now and then.

If you do decide to follow Teen Talk, we would always encourage you to practice good internet safety by:

• Never using your name or correct date of birth.
• Using a photo that is non-identifiable.
• ALWAYS keep your page locked.

If you would like more information about Scottish Adoption’s Teen Ambassador Programme or @teentalkadoption, please contact the Children’s Worker Melanie Thomson by emailing melaine@scottishadoption.org or by calling 0131 553 5060.

This blog post, below, was first published on Scottish Adoption’s website.

During the coronavirus outbreak, many of us adopted teens might be feeling worried about our birth families and stressing about if they are okay. Just the other day, I received a message from my birth mother. At first I was happy, as it conveyed sentiments towards my well-being. This made me feel happy, but then I remembered what happened last time we had contact and my feelings started to change.

Around 2 years ago, I found my birth mother on social media and at first, I believed it was a glorious victory to have found her by myself. However this was very short lived, as it wasn’t long before things started to go sour. After a couple of days, I found she didn’t have the ability to manage our relationship. Things got even worse when she began blackmailing me into moving close to her and taking care of her. I was 15 years old and about to sit my exams. None of this was remotely possible.

When this happened two years ago, I used the supports I had around me. I spoke to the staff at Scottish Adoption and I spoke to the other teens at the Scottish Adoption Teen Group. With this support, I decided to end the contact with my birth-mother to protect my self.

If any of you readers have either been in this situation or a similar one; my advice to you would be to do as I did, which is tell someone. Telling someone is better than keeping inside of you, because when you don’t tell someone how you’re feeling, it grows and grows.

If you or any other adopted teenager you know might be struggling right now, tell them about Teen Talk. Teen Talk is free online support service where adopted teens help other adopted teens make sense of their thoughts, feelings and worries, share this link with them www.scottishadoption.org/teentalk